Perfect Without Passion

Growing up, my mom introduced me to a show called Grey's Anatomy. I remember the nights when I would climb into her bed and wrap myself in her fluffy blankets while she got us some snacks. Then, we would sit in her bed and watch it.

A scene in the show that I remember vividly, even to this day, is when Meredith Grey, an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, asks the other interns, "Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?" All the interns raised their hands. At the time, I thought it was just a comedic scene. Now, I think back at that scene and realize I am in the exact position as the intern at Seattle Grace: having no idea what I am doing. Except, instead of everyone raising their hands, it feels as if I'm the only one raising my hand.

I am constantly surrounded by people who have a passion in life; whether they are people from school or people on social media. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a passion in life. In fact, when I see people with a passion, I admire them and sometimes wish that I could be in their place.

However, another part of me – a larger part of me – feels as if having a passion in life is outward validation for an internal emptiness. A passion, from society's viewpoint, is supposed to be unique and different from others – something that makes one stand out as an individual. The societal pressure to have a passion directs attention to the individual and distracts from the collective. The problem with this is people can't survive as individuals; they need a "tribe."

Throughout my time in school, my teachers would tell me that I need to find a job I am passionate about. I believe this is misleading because people can interpret this as, "If one has a passion for something, then one has a clear path in life." However, that isn't true: life is messy and will never bend the way you want it to bend. Also, having one's whole life planned out ahead of them is like setting oneself up for failure. I don't consider that to be "living."

In my own life, I've learned that I don't need to have a passion for my life to be purposeful. I love going on car rides with my dad. I love talking to my mom on our front porch. I love joking around with my brothers about meaningless things. I love hanging out with my friends and laughing until our ribs hurt. I love going on walks by myself and being alone with my thoughts. These are the things that make me feel alive and give my life meaning.

Those might not seem like big things, but one can grow to love even the smallest things about life: the way the street looks when it's just rained, the flush on one's cheeks when it's winter, drawing shapes on fogged-up windows and leaves falling from trees.

Sometimes, I still feel insecure about my lack of passion for anything, especially now that I'm in high school. However, it brings me a lot of light to admit that and know that's okay.

I know that there are probably teenagers who are in a similar situation as I am: feeling pressured to have a passion. I know they are probably thinking the same as me, "Do I need to have a passion?" So to answer their and my question: you don't need to have everything figured out yet; just take the moment and taste it.

Opinion by Lillian Coffin